mightysqueak

breakout!

2008-12-25T02:42:16Z

My cute adorable puppy needs to have his named changed from Cotton to Marley! the freaking dog pushed himself through the fence--there is a gap about 6 inches between my house and the beginning of the fence...Anyway, he shoved himself through until he successfully got onto my neighbor's patio! Luckily, they had their fence locked...but then...how do i get him back. Well after running round the patio (to include stepping in fresh poo)and screaming...I was able to contact my neighbor and luckily they hadn't left yet...and they safely handed him over the fence to me. My father is coming over on Friday to help fix any potential holes/future problems. he's a disaster...i shouldn't have cancelled the dog whisperer...but he was so freaking expensive!

a new job...maybe

2008-08-07T01:07:46Z

if the HR division starts working correctly....then yup. otherwise...i'm staying put. It's an interesting story culminating in a flat out "NO" to the job. Then getting a phone call from the hiring manager saying...we never said any kind of price ---why would anyone offer you 20K less than you're making? My response: i'm mentally competent...only someone not---might think that's a good idea! (didn't even get a laugh...who would have thunk it??? It's not like i said RETARDED!)

...and I can honestly say...i agree

2008-04-28T02:52:31Z

"My wikipedia page said I have down syndrome. I don't. I wish I had it sometimes. I'd be happier if i did." --Jay Reatard

During his recent visit to Spinner's Interface, the majestically maniacal singer cleared up a thing or two about his, uh, mental status.

When it rains

2008-04-19T14:34:24Z

So my father is in the ICU with some weird heart problem. He's been feeling sick for a while, and his pressure has been up for some time too. My grandmother spent all last night crying that she's the only person left (David nearly attacked her...b/c this isn't about her--but that's what the egocentric bitch is all about). Oh, this is the best, so i feel very guilty about his heart issue, b/c he's been so worried about me for months. that's a load of shit on my shoulders. There have been many days where I told him to stop worrying about me...things were fine, and if they weren't there wasn't anything that he could do to fix it. HAPPY 2008! It's been a shitload of fun so far!

I finally asked ...

2007-05-17T23:07:01Z

a guy at work...has been calling me snowflake in emails for nearly a month now. I finally asked, on his last day, if it was because of my gleaming white skin.

This is his email reply below:

“Snowflake”- Creation of nature, uniquely beautiful and one of a kind. Resilient and perpetually resurrected, falls to Earth in winter, evaporates and returns as a warm raindrop in the spring.

I was just so touched ... that I had to share this. I don't think anyone has ever said something so beautiful to me.

Out of the "holding center"

2007-05-08T23:21:56Z

Finally -- Took about 6 weeks! Seems I got out much faster than everyone else...musta been my good behavior! Thought I'd share. Boy, I am going to miss it! the folks became--my buddies. It was kind of a small place with about 10-15 of us. Now I'm one of a zillion. (oh wait...I'm one IN a million!) ha ha ha

What a nice email....

2007-05-04T14:36:36Z

A co-worker is leaving the company, and he sent me this today: "It is the law of nature that for every one like you there must be a thousand like me."

It warmed my heart! Thought I'd share.

pact with the devil--Now I have proof

2007-04-30T13:34:42Z

a 32 inch TV fell off a table and hit my grandmother in the head. She can't figure out how it happened. She's thankful she sits so far away from the tv or she'd be dead! David said this is proof that she has made a deal with the devil b/c that should have killed her. My father wants to know if we can move the chair "just a little closer"--in anticipation that this happens again.

a business idea...

2007-04-18T18:35:18Z

thinking about selling my grandmother on Ebay...any takers?

an update...work and ...dinner

2006-09-10T14:01:29Z

Well, I got into work on Friday, and was called by one of the Jr. Vice Presidents looking for contact information. Why? B/c my friend had a heart attack the night before. Turns out it b/c he's only like 35 they (the doctors)think it was brought on by stress. Here's my take on the stress factor--he knows that he crossed the line. He is freaked out for his job and family. (though, I would have never done anything to jeopardize either)I think ultimately, his behavior towards me...is killing 'em.

The dinner story: I spend nearly every night eating dinner with the family. Yes, this does suck! Especially since there isn't a single restaurant that my grandmother likes. I haven't had good food in months! Anyway, there is one place that we all can agree on...We'll I'm NEVER going back! last night, they served me a roach! that's right, a roach. I don't remember spitting everything out of my mouth (I didn't eat the roach) The manager handled the entire thing wrong. I didn't make a scene. He said that it was a corn husk! YEAH RIGHT! I saw the legs...I saw them bent. corn husks don't have those! Anyway, he didn't charge us for my dinner (good idea) but he didn't comp the entire bill. Then he said that desert was free. (but here's the kicker...) he then said, maybe you guys get 3-4 (there were 8 of us) and share! I think SO! I am thinking about writing a very scathing article and posting it everywhere! So, we're not going back. My grandmother will have to suffer.

wow

2006-09-08T01:24:07Z

so one of my co-workers called me today to say that he had a secret. I was like: what's up? You wanna talk about it? he was like: do you really want to know?! I said:Now I don't know. Is it going to ruin our friendship? (you ever get that feeling the secret is about you?!) so he said that he's been harboring a secret love for me for 3 years! that he loves my body. At that point I asked him to stop. I said I was flattered; I value his friendship, and I hope that he wouldn't tell me anymore secrets! Not only is he older than I am (not that he's old, but older than I am) but he's married with a couple of kids! What's that about!? the insanity.

AND last week....another guy...tried to kiss me! at work--he's a scientist, and i was bringing him some material! He's as old as my dad, and he's married.

I can't figure this out. I don't even comb my hair when I go to work, it's in a ratty ponytail! WHAT is this!!??

there are no words!

a day in the life

2006-08-26T19:38:54Z

I asked my mom to make me an appt. with the dermatologist. (you know, when you’re burned too many times –gotta be careful). Anyway, she said she’d drive me, b/c I didn’t know the doc or where it was. She left the name and number at home, but remembered the address. She parked the car…I walked into the office…it was full of women, many who were pregnant! I thought this might be a little strange, but figured it’s the middle of the weekday, maybe everyone else is working. Though, it was strange. Then I noticed that the pictures on the wall were all of babies…not skin, moles or whatever you’d expect from a dermatologist! (kind of strange) then I went to sign in…and I saw the page said: Obstetrics and Gynecology! Where does she think the sunburn was located?! She couldn’t figure out why I was mad! Anyway, to make a long story short, she was on the wrong street! Point of the story: make your own doctor’s appt. and don’t have a crazy old lady drive!

Great News

2006-08-18T18:29:46Z

Last year I heard that my friend and his wife were divorcing after 16 years of marriage. He was devastated…not only that his marriage had fallen apart (if that wasn’t enough) but she was leaving him for a woman. Yes, she had just realized or come to terms with the fact that she was gay. So here is my friend a 50 year old guy without children (she never wanted them) and he’s all alone in the world. Yes, this is somewhat a sob story. However, there is a silver lining. I just heard from him the other night. He is getting remarried to an old friend. They are having a huge wedding; he sounds so very excited and happy. I am so thrilled for him b/c he’s just so genuine and kind; he deserves to be happy and loved. Anyway, I just wanted to share. His wedding is in November. I can’t remember when. I might be going. It’s in Portland. So, if I make the arrangements, maybe I can scoot up to Seattle to see both of you guys. The nice thing is that I wouldn’t have baggage…and so I don’t have to appease any other “potentially insane old travelers”. Oh, I found out why she’d been so kooky lately. That lady has been diagnosed with breast cancer. SO, she’s out of the office this week and next having it removed (the lump). If she told anyone that she was dealing with such an ordeal, maybe everyone would have been more tolerant to the insane behavior. But anyone that I found out is the reason why the Boston trip was so awful!

fyi

2006-08-02T15:40:32Z

I have been feeling much better. I guess the shot of nasty worked! Anyway, I am hitting the gym everyday...and I have found that working out is making me much less angry. It's wonderful. Not only am I reducing my butt, but (notice the great transition)I am weaning myself from my family. My gym time "just happens" to be during the "family dinners". So I see my grandparents on my way home from the gym for about 15-20 minutes...NOT 3 hours. One must shower after the gym or it's gross....so I can sit around in nasty sweaty clothes for a couple of minutes, but then I must leave! No wonder the experts say going to the gym helps with a better outlook on life...mine has certainly improved!

All is good

2006-07-27T18:43:20Z

I just wanted to say that I am FINALLY feeling better! WOW--Took long enough! Even though I can't turn my head today (god only knows why) I am still going to the gym tonight. Just slather on the icy-hot...It's all fine!

Oh BTW, I went to Boston last week (work) AWFUL TRIP. My travel buddy was insane. Yes, it's the same lady as before!

I've decided

2006-07-09T17:27:55Z

That I hate my life, my parents, and my family. I shouldn't have to go to work to get away...what the f#@K! I have my own house...but they keep coming over....and bringing their f**King friends here....so they can avoid my grandparents. I have to "ask permission" to NOT see them, or to give them a freaking explanation of my whereabouts--WHAT's the point of being an adult.

an update

2006-06-26T18:33:18Z

So I haven’t written in a hundred years…I had a horrible cold. It’s supposed to last about 7 days, but it has lasted nearly 2 weeks now. I’ve shared the cold with everyone in the family. Yes everyone…this means that my grandfather, undergoing cancer treatments has a really bad cold. I feel awful about that (let me tell you) Anyway, he’s sick as a dog…which doesn’t make things easier for him.

But this is the best. My parents are on vacation. Now, as you know that they live only 1 mile from my house. I spend everyday with them so that I can help with my grandparents. Anyway, they are on vacation (to my house!) How lucky for me! They couldn’t go on their vacation b/c I shared my cold. My mom is really sick, and my father needs some kind of surgery for kidney stones. They had already made arrangements for my Aunt to come to visit (and take care of the grandparents) so they refuse to stay in the house with everyone. Needless to say, my place is now a pit. There is stuff everyone (I go home to that…and them....AND then go and take care of my grandparents b/c my Aunt won’t do anything all day long). I’m so thrilled! Hope my folks are enjoying their freaking vacation!

my father the inventor

2006-06-01T12:40:36Z

after I told him about how it's awful...always ripping pantyhose...he "invented" STOCKINGS and Garters! I told him it would work....has been for like 60 years already! Brilliant! Thought you'd use a laugh.

Hospital ... an update

2006-05-09T16:36:32Z

I got home and was feeling a little lousy. Which I thought was due to the time change...which literally killed me when I was there. NOPE. About 10 hours later....I let's just say....got VERY sick. After 10 hours of being so sick...i went to the emergency room. The other sick people in the waiting room (emergency) decided jointly that I would go ahead of them (regardless of who was called--that's saying something.....)David called my parents later to see how my grandfather was feeling...and they told him that I had been very sick...The first thing he asks....Did I puke in his bed?! that's love! answer...YUP!

I HATE 'EM

2006-04-26T13:39:43Z

That moron is still playing AC/DC! It's difficult to take at 8AM, and I nicely asked him to turn it off! He's been using headphones for a week...WTF! I asked, please use your headphones. "NO" That's the response. He turned it down....now I just hear the hum of static and the occasional guitar or screech. I've had it!(there was a screaming match--I lost, but then again, I'm not in tip top shape today. I have a major headache and I am having trouble focusing--which is making the radio grate my nerves worse) I think that his wife should suffocate him in his sleep--I mean....Do me a favor lady, I can't take it! Then I think...Thank G-d I'm not married to it! (UGH!)

I am the worst Tour Guide ever....

2006-04-24T18:18:06Z

I have a very, very, very bad sense of direction. So my friend was in town and we "tooled" around. We saw nearly everything the city offers (quantity over quality) We must have walked about 20 miles (or so my friend calculated). However, this was not the intention! I got us lost! I couldn’t find the White House—Go figure—I work next to it! So we walked aimlessly. Anyway, we ended up in a protest rally for China—did you know there was a protest against harvesting the organs of Chinese prisoners? When they yelled “To the White House!” We jointly decided that since we too were going that way (or as least attempting to) we should go with them. Once there….I was able to find a place to eat dinner….and the metro to get home. All in all…a very fun trip! But I was told that I am the WORST TOUR GUIDE EVER!

Rude People

2006-04-11T14:19:32Z

I think it's very rude when you work in cubicle hell to play music without headphones. I ask you: just how many days could you listen to the same AC/DC record without losing your mind!?
I then ask you: How would you respond if someone (most likely the irritated person--at least in my case--me) asks this person to please put on headphones?
Would you:
a. turn it up?
b. use your headphones, if available?
c. tell them that you have headphones, but you don't like them?
d. ignore the person completely?

Is this why people go postal!?

in town?!

2006-03-23T15:47:51Z

I have to go to Seattle for work the beginning of May. Heads-up! I will call this weekend ... Maybe I can come in a couple of days before I have to be there? Anyway, they (the office) gave me this trip assignment....as a gesture of kindness... so I could get a free visit. Nice?!

Florida Doctor's SUCK

2006-03-08T17:01:21Z

An update:

Yesterday, my doctor took my grandfather off of hospice. He said that "Papa's" not ready yet. He is too healthy. The doctor then said that we should be able to feed him "soft foods" b/c he hasn't been able to eat in at least 3 months. (since this entire cancer thing) He has only been allowed clear liquids. The doctors in Florida said that he had a blockage in his intestines. However, they didn't know where the blockage was...they couldn't find it. So my doctor not only sent him to an oncologist, which his hospital record indicated that he refused in Florida-- he didn't. The oncologist ran a bunch of tests today....and there is NO blockage! the man can EAT! Anyway, I need to say....if you're really sick in FL....leave--better survival rate!

this weekend

2006-03-06T16:43:39Z

My grandparents moved in. My grandpa looks really frail, but is thriving at our house. My dad only had one tantrum and flung something at my grandma...for no reason. He realized that he over-reacted--but regardless, it's already begun. I had to go to Target to buy a "baby-gate" and "baby-monitor." My grandpa was so disappointed--It was a "pride issue". BUT I MUST SAY....there is some very cool baby stuff out there. The gate has a wall button so it automatically opens! I'd never seen anything like that! Maybe I am really selfish, but I am so glad that they moved in. I get to spend more time with my grandpa!